Dive into Mental Health
Remember what it was like learning to dive?
Imagine a young boy or girl hovering at the edge, staring down at the water afraid to take the plunge. It’s a big pool; the expanse of blue threatening to swallow them up forever. It took me two hours on the diving board looking down in the water, walking off the board, back on, my mind playing tricks on me, fueling my fears and the voices that said I wouldn’t come back up for air should I dare descend into the great depths.
When facing something we fear or lack confidence in overcoming, one hears many voices. Our voices often come in the form of judgment, criticism and absolutes, especially when it comes to our mental health. And those voices are the very thing that can get in the way of seeking help and stifling the change we desperately want.
Carl Rogers was a founder of humanistic psychology, based on the belief that individuals have the capacity to make positive changes and find their own solutions when provided with a supportive and empathetic environment. He once said, “The curious paradox is that when we accept ourselves as we are, then we have the freedom to change.” What does that look like when applying that principle to our mental health?
Accepting ourselves as we are doesn’t mean that we don't see the need to change. It means we see things clearly, still love who we are and are open to bettering ourselves. When others express their concern, whether gently or emphatically, often one will push back in defiance. We’re all inherently self-protective. Self-acceptance is the key that unlocks the overprotectiveness we feel so that we have the mental freedom to take the steps that will make our lives better. It gives us permission to let our weighty guard down and change that mental workload from protecting to healing.
These questions are a good start to accepting and looking at ourselves with curiosity instead of judgment:
Why do I choose to cope this way? (ie., it keeps me from blowing up, it reduces my stress etc) And then, What healthier ways of coping have worked in the past?
What strengths do I have that I can bring to this situation?
Who supports me and loves me as I am? And then, How can I ask them for the specific support I need to move forward to change?
What are the benefits of accepting myself and not denying, avoiding or hiding from where I’m at right now?
Back to the diving board: Remember how it felt when you finally took the plunge? Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought, maybe it turned you into a fearless, diving superhero or maybe you really did do a face plant (that was me) but after sitting it out for a minute, you were determined to try again, realizing what you could do differently for a better outcome. In the case of our mental health, let’s use the voice that thinks we’re pretty awesome for our creativity in surviving, our tenacity and even for our desire to protect ourselves. But let’s also use the voice that propels us into a state of self- acceptance so we can make the mental health changes that we very much deserve. When we do seek help for our mental health, we may figuratively do a face plant at first or we may sail into the air and cut through the water like a pro but either way, at some point, we’ll likely feel like we did when we were kids and took the dive… pretty fantastic at the end of the day.
Written by
Natilie Land, NBC-HWC
Prevention Educator at Mutual Ground
