Domestic Violence Costs Us All
It’s no secret that domestic violence has a profound cost. It is far more common than many realize and impacts the people around us—our friends, neighbors, coworkers, and sometimes even ourselves. In fact, an estimated 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience intimate partner violence at some point in their lives.
Thanks to the advocates who pushed for Domestic Violence education and prevention in schools in the 70s, people are more knowledgeable than ever on the emotional and psychological costs of violence in the home. Research has provided us with the common knowledge that living in constant fear and stress keeps the body in a prolonged state of fight or flight, which heightens the risk for chronic illness, mental health issues like depression and PTSD, and substance misuse.
And yet, when a societal ill like domestic violence has been so tightly woven into our social fabric, it can be hard to identify just how far-reaching its impact, and just how high its cost on individuals and the community as a whole.
Let’s put a number to it- did you know that a study on the lifetime economic cost of domestic violence found that “the estimated intimate partner violence lifetime cost was $103,767 per female victim and $23,414 per male victim, or a population economic burden of nearly $3.6 trillion (2014 US$) over victims’ lifetimes?” This estimate included $2.1 trillion (59% of total) in medical costs, $1.3 trillion (37%) in lost productivity among victims and perpetrators, $73 billion (2%) in criminal justice activities, and $62 billion (2%) in other costs, including victim property loss or damage.”
These numbers are staggering, but not surprising. Let’s look closer at the different areas in which a survivor must shoulder the costs of the domestic violence, even in their attempts to be free from it:
Employment
A stable income is crucial for a survivor who is trying to build financial independence, but all too often domestic violence can affect a survivor’s ability to work. A study estimated that between 21-60% of survivors lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse- reasons that vary from employment sabotage, economic abuse such as refusing the survivor to make their own income, or a survivor having to leave their job because of abuse-related health problems. All said, in a year, survivors will lose a total of around 8 million paid work days.
Healthcare
There are direct costs- like hospital bills for physical injuries, or mental health services like counseling. A randomized phone survey even found that healthcare costs for women who had experienced physical abuse were 42% higher than the costs for nonabused women. However, there is also the indirect costs that are often not considered- such as medical bills for chronic health problems related to the DV, or lost productivity as a result of missed work days.
Legal Services
Even after a survivor leaves the home, the abuse can continue on through the legal system, especially when children are involved. In civil matters like divorce and child custody cases, legal representation is not guaranteed, meaning the survivor has to find the money for the lawyer fees, or represent themselves, which can be daunting in an already complex legal process in which the survivor must face their abuser in the courtroom. Most estimates agree a divorce with an attorney in Illinois costs a person on average $11,000-$14,000.6 That’s not to mention the missed work days, transportation costs, and potential childcare costs for having to attend the many court dates.
Transportation
Many survivors leave the relationship with no car in their name. This is an often overlooked barrier, but consider the lack of travel options- consistent public transportation is a rarity in the suburbs, and Uber rides can cost $20 per 20-minute ride in the Aurora area. There are wonderful organizations like Cars of Hope in Naperville, which rely on donated vehicles to gift to low-income families, but these programs are often high in demand and low in supply, resulting in long waitlists. When having a job is essential for paying the bills, the last thing a survivor needs to reckon with is how they can get to work.
Housing
To rent anywhere, a person needs a stable income and good credit. Many jobs do not provide wages that can sustain housing costs, which are rising every day- especially when most landlords require proof that you earn 3x the rent. What is more, many survivors experience financial abuse or exploitation in their relationship- survey data from 2000 women who called the National Domestic Violence Hotline in 2019 found that 52% experienced coerced debt, 46% reported their credit was damaged by their partner, and 70% reported their partner hid financial information from them.
Housing is often the first and most crucial material barrier that prevents a person from leaving the abuse- where are they to go if they don’t even make enough in a month to cover a 1-bedroom, much less a 2- or 3-bedroom if they have kids? This is why domestic abuse shelters are essential to providing emergency shelter, but even so, stays are time-limited, and every day around the country Domestic Violence shelters have to turn people away because they are at capacity. According to a 2023 report from The Network: Advocating Against Domestic Violence, there were 107 days where there were no beds or cribs available in domestic violence shelters in the surrounding Chicago suburbs- or nearly ⅓ of the year.
We know that people are worthy of lives free from domestic violence. We tell them this, and that it is not their fault. But, inadvertently, we are sending a very different message when we expect them to shoulder the costs of freeing themselves from it, and deny them adequate access to basic dignities like housing, healthcare, employment, and childcare if they cannot.
This doesn’t just hurt survivors. It hurts their children, who are also being denied those basic dignities. How can we expect anyone to heal and thrive, and help their kids thrive, when they are too busy fighting for their basic dignities for a life free from violence? When we deny healing and thriving for some of us, we deny it for all of us.
What can we do?
The emotional, physical, social, and economic costs of domestic violence cannot be summarized in a glance. It can feel overwhelming to know where to begin to support survivors in our community.
When our social and government safety nets fail, we have to rely on each other, our fellow community members. Mutual aid is a concept in which community members work together to fill in the gaps of government and social services by volunteering their time, skills, and resources for the common good of their community. This can be creative and look like a lot of things- it can look like donating your old couch to a Domestic Violence shelter instead of putting it on the curb, or offering to drive your loved one without a car to their appointment. It can look like stocking up your community fridge, or volunteering your automechanical skills to a neighbor with a car in disrepair. It can even look like giving direct cash assistance to a family at risk of eviction, a water shut-off, or who just need help paying a prescription. The cool thing about mutual aid is that you can decide on how you want to show up, and you can utilize your own strengths to figure out how you can best support your community.
For meaningful mutual aid to develop, the very first step is to talk about these human costs with each other. Let’s put our finger on the truth: domestic violence costs us all deeply, and to continue as is is not sustainable for a healthy society. Speak the hidden suffering aloud, acknowledge the hurt, the struggle, and the near impossible standards we place on people trying to free themselves from violence. To acknowledge it as unacceptable is the first step to healing and dignity for survivors. It tells them that we bear witness to their struggle and believe they deserve better.
To ignore it is to quietly admit that this, in fact, is the cost we are willing to pay.
Well, is it?
Written by Claire Berg
Housing Coordinator at Mutual Ground
References:
https://www.ohsu.edu/womens-health/domestic-violence-more-common-you-might-think
https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html
https://centerfordomesticpeace.org/economic-impact-of-domestic-violence/
https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2019/09/victims-of-domestic-violence-often-stuck-with-financial-debt
